No Contest: Coding the Language of Love

This morning a friend forwarded an email containing a contest to choose SF's sexiest programmer. She attached a concerned note that read, " Keep an eye on your man." I stared quizzically at a photo of today's man-boy coder in his ironic mutton chops and safety goggles.

I've got nothing to worry about, and this is why.

The final phrase in the article reads, "Ladies start your hard drives." I thought to myself, "Is this a hard love reboot? Are they installing a new boyfriend program? Do their libidos need a security update?" This got me thinking about why so many programmer to non-coder couples fail. My belief is that a large number of relationships end with semantic differences.

Let's break down the problem:

• If: People who are angry or emotionally charged exaggerate;
• And If: Coders tend to focus on minutiae because it is often small bugs that threaten their work;
• Then: Hyperboles are corrected, the argument is rendered false and all parties agree to dissolve the apartment.
• Else: One way to make a coder concede on the spot is to brain scramble him/her with obscure, yet classical, reference points. But after a quick trip to Wikipedia, the argument resumes.