Painting

For a year I've been storing my underpants in a laundry basket on the ground. Last week I found myself a street dresser sans pee. I thought I'd gussy her up with some sanding and wood oil.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED AFTER 6 HRS: Non-toxic paint remover is like humping a mound of bricks. It requires an immense amount of effort and it hurts. I am convinced I just bought canola oil. My hands are bleeding and I think my lungs are full of lead paint flakes. Plus my street bureau still has another layer of paint underneath the first two.

I'M SORRY: Oh Mr. Buttons, I've missed you. Don't worry, mama is back home on the internets and she'll never leave you again.