Chicken of Pigeons

Earlier today a pigeon flew into my internet cafe and bashed itself again the window while I screamed and covered my head. Everyone laughed at me. I'm an animal-lover, but having a molting Tenderloin pigeon graze my face is like sucking on an eyedropper full of the ebola virus. My latte had little bugs in it when I returned to the table. About an hour later, 2 homeless men got into a fight and left a trail of saliva against my window. They made amends and went away, but the saliva remains here at eye level. Chucky was a cursed doll, Christine was a cursed car and I have a cursed window seat. What are the odds?