Sick as a Dog

"Ohh...that must've been why she's been so oppressive and scary," say the bookish government workers as they scuttle across the ancient tiles of the Pepto-Bismol palace. (Check out this website, it makes me want to crap myself laughing and puke at its putridness all at the same time)

Yes, I'm sick as a dog, and thought perhaps I'd look up the etymology of "sick as a dog"; however, the word detective gave me nada.

Some people (usually men) become these victimized losers when they are sick. I on the otherhand, am perfectly fine but manage to make it miserable for all others around me. I leave huge soupy wads of snot on telephone mouthpieces and I love coughing on old people and babies. If any of you remember Leona Helmsley, that's who I aspire to be while sick. While healthy I am on a covert mission of outward pleasantry and inward screaming.

When sick I just want comfort foods- no not the bland lifeless foods of YOUR people (ie. chicken noodle soup), but REAL comfort food, like tempura miso udon, chawan mushi, or seafood congee. The crap thing about this island is that while many imitate, few can replicate anything delicious or savory for the homesick. I am settling for Dad's specialty -beef and potato chunky soup. Someone will pay for this as well.