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June 27, 2006

LSD in the Engineering Lab Wing Water Fountain

Jesus. Why are computer nerds so into Japanese martial arts & yet so awkward when they run?

I just don't know. It is a secret as old as the tree falling in the woods riddle.

Aww, Computer Scientists are adorable. They are like Ewoks.

Yeah Millhouses!

June 25, 2006

SF Pride 2006

I thought SF is supposed to be some sort of gay mecca, a place where sodomy is as habitual as nosepicking, I thought I'd at least get to see nudity...but no....I saw one penis (painted red), 2 sets of saggy breasts & about 200 playful buttocks in sloppy disarray. Vancouver is WAY gayer than SF, plus Womyn's Ware gives out better free lubricants & condoms than Good Vibrations.

Nice try America. Canada puts 900 times more homo into homosapien. We're no 1!

June 19, 2006

SF Robogames

While others cheered on World Cup competitors, we rubbed shoulders with Electro-Gepetto's at the International Robogames.

Highlights include the slightly retarded soccerbots & their inability to stand for more than 3 seconds, & of course, the
crabfu steambots.

Incidently the event must have been nerdy as celebrity protester Frank Chu was nowhere to be seen.

June 13, 2006

SF 8/8- Let's Get Loud

Other than the fact that she cut down 90 hectares of rainforest to produce a pink chincilla stole and that she made L.L. Cool J put on a shirt, I hate Jennifer Lopez because her cosmetic line is one of the world's most carcinogenic brands.

June 12, 2006

SF 7/8-Tenderloin

Some U.K. hipster farted on me in the Tenderloin & I called him on it. Then he said, "Well you have bad breath. It's the same."

No. 1- I don't have bad breath.
No. 2- Unless you shit out of your mouth then blow it on strangers, it's not the same.

June 09, 2006

SF 6/8-Haight St. Fair

Haight St. Fair

June 08, 2006

SF 5/8

June 06, 2006

Murder Capital of the World, SF 4/8

Corpulent sea lions bark happily under the pier as tourists cook in coconut-oiled clusters, crisping themselves on the alabaster sand. Roller coasters whee, ice machines whirr and karaoke contestants croak- homage to a Santa Cruz sunset.

This is the setting of Jeffrey Boam's vampire classic Lost Boys. (Ah the Coreys) While I'll admit there are plenty of Charles Manson lookalike hippies in Santa Cruz, it's hardly the sort of place you'd suspect someone as creepy as a mullet-sporting Kiefer Sutherland to hang out. Does he ever blink? Still, as the movie indicates, Santa Cruz (or Santa Clara) was once, Murder Capital of the World.

June 02, 2006

Boobjob (part 3/8 in a SF series)

Ironic how someone with the body of an 11-year-old boy can get a job with a breast cancer org. My breasts are so small that:
  1. I am convinced that I am in possession of the world's only skin-coloured tictacs
  2. I am eligible for a grant to produce a CBC documentary on Asian titbinding
  3. 9/10 bikini tops feel self-conscious and flabby when seen near my breasts
Delightfully Tacky, Yet Unrefined...Hooters. *Sigh*

A flying roundhouse axekick to absolutes