Release

Alright. So there are 2 new awesome releases.

1. Google Maps has released Street Views. This means that if you're moving, you can research the hood before you run out to get your deposit.
2. And, Hiyaablog.com!! We are an independent entity. An island unto ourselves!!! YEAH!

Maker Faire

So Maker Faire is awesome. It is nice to see thousands explore their creativity and ask questions. This isn't just a bunch of sports fans clapping, this is glue-gun, soldering iron, sweat-on-the-upper-lip hardcore tinkering. Some of the highlights include:
1. The steam punk Victorian mansion (as seen at Burning Man 2006)
2. The Swap-a-Rama where I made an owl doll that I've decided is Korean.
3. The Tech Shop with lathes, powder paints and a tool area that my dad would drool over
4. The Tesla Coils
5. The funky bikes and bike-related rides

Laughing Squid's Scott Beale does a much better job of doing it justice in photos.

Existentialism: Self Indulgence or Survivalism?

Lately I've been working on building out my online writing portfolio. At one point the design featured my head in cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin's helmet but I scrapped that idea because my melon isn't the right size or proportion. Essentially this week is existential week. Every 2-3 years I take stock of my life. The last time it happened I cried because Orson Welles finished Citizen Kane at the age of 26 and I was already 25-years-old. The time before that I threw up next to someone's hot tub after doing a keg stand. Given that this weekend is Bay to Breakers, we could see everything come full circle. I decided to write FutureMe a letter, but now I can't find it and it won't arrive until 2010. After seeing some of those letters and after watching the Pachelbel ranter clip, I feel a little better about myself--I mean, at least my concerns are relevant.

Sanity Savers: The Review

A few months ago I joined the BlogHer network and was fortuitous enough to be given a review copy of Dr. Dale Vicky Atkins' "Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life". I was honored that Harper Collins would value my feedback, but then I read the book.

Dr. Dale did not write this book for me. There are a few points we agree on, including that we should, "live a life with purpose, curiosity and passion,"; however, on p.14, Dr. Dale addresses my disabled child. Wa? In fact, probably more than half of the chapters are about how to manage children in a double-parent home. Having recently read articles about Laura Doyle and the Surrendered Wives movement, I am on a particularly mad feminist rant today.

If I were to write a book, my advice would be this:
Sometimes it is ok to let things go to shit. If you have a partner and they are really doing half of the chores and not just the lawn, then shit shouldn't look that bad. Be happy and be in the world. No one likes a neurotic freak.

Mother's Day

It's great that the universe has so many women who can nurture, love and teach their children; however, I am not one of them and will NEVER be one of them. Sometimes in casual conversation I hear the argument, "Well, things change. You'll change your mind when you're older."

INTERNAL RESPONSE: Oh will I oh wise earth mother sage? I've known you for 5 min., I am almost 30, and my biological clock tells me that it's about time for me to rip you a new A.

REAL RESPONSE: You're wrong. (awkward silence)

I haven't thought about having unprotected sex for years and society is better for it. Let's look at my last Walmart experience. I watched in horror as a woman my age in a floral tracksuit whipped bologna into a cart while 3 sticky-handed monsters swarmed her with their high-pitched singing. I thought to myself, "I bet this poor woman would sell me one of those little shits for a joint and 15 minutes of silence."

So to all of my friends who are mothers, Happy Mother's Day! You have the hardest job in the universe. I look forward to giving your sons their first tender moment with a cougar. Don't worry I use protection.

God & Growing Pains

Ever since homeless bad boy Luke/Leonardo DiCaprio began hijacking Tigerbeat covers from Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron, television's curly-haired heartthrob has never been the same. Despite helping Tracy Gold bounce back from anorexia and finding a new audience in the Christian right, Cameron's recent and strange theory regarding "CrockoDuck" and the existence of God left O'Reilly and ABC Nightline viewers baffled. Cameron's appearance followed a brief segment by acclaimed author and atheist Richard Dawkins.

Clutchy Hopkins: Mystery Man

Someone tell Jerod Leto that posting emo drawings under an assumed name is not going to win back Lindsay Lohan.

The best way to get famous or reassert your fame is by placing a mysterious narrative up on MySpace. For example, Clutchy Hopkins, jazz/funk instrumentalist/deejay is a well-travelled eccentric who currently lives in a cave in the Mojave desert. The individuals who claim to know Clutchy have created a MySpace video. However, given the general hawtness of Clutchy's beats, one theory is that he is in fact DJ Shadow. Judging by his love of plaid, earth spiritualism and long hair, my theory is that he is actually Kurt Cobain reincarnated as an electronic musician. Right on Kurt. Right on.

Three Panel Dooce

Come on now. First Barack Obama's MySpace garbage and now this? Matt of Three Panel Soul (read: Comics) was recently fired from his contract position with the Navy for discussing guns in the workplace. Now, I discuss guns in the workplace all the time because of my "Save the Breasts" mantra, but in this case, he was talking about shooting paper targets with a .22. Sure, this is a totally idiotic discussion, but it probably only warrants a terror threat orange - which we all know is pretty much standard at this point. Unfortunately, Matt's workplace gun discussion was on the same day as the Virginia Tech shootings and people lost it. This reminds me of a story I read in 2002 about Heather B. Armstrong, the graphic designer who edited Dooce.com at night. Heather, who never named any coworkers or the company name, was fired because the organization's HR folks found her blog posts. Shit man, what is even the point in protecting a country where you can't be yourself?

*Note: There was a written explanation up on Three Panel Soul, but I assume it was taken down due to some sort of confidentiality agreement?

Fuzz

So I have 3 new addictions....
1. Fuzz - A new web-based music site that is one part social network, one part indy adorable and one part HAWT graphics & interface. Honestly, who doesn't love blimps and goats? You do, you just don't know it yet.
2. Lovemakers- After 2 drinks (my limit), I can't help but bob about like an epileptic to these pop-synth/funk/new wave/some cool genre songs.
3. Look around You - Apparently I'm the last one to know about a series of mock-science films complete with British voiceovers. YES. A salute to the AV club!