No Place Like Home

I tell myself that my mother has a mental illness because if I don't I have to assume that she has had legitimate reason to be angry at me for 25-30 years. Good times.

Hockey Semantics

Whoa...I haven't watched hockey for 2 yrs and I'd forgotten about the "hosers". I'd always assumed "hoser" referred to wrapping your mouth around the hose while doing a keg stand. Not so. It refers to pre-zamboni hockey when the losing team hosed off the ice.

Mmmmm...beer.

Looking Back...

I'm at my parent's house looking at journals and photos and I've just realized 2 things:
a) I wasn't cool, and;
b) I was a melodramatic spaz.
If I were my parents, I'm not sure I would've encouraged me to become a writer either.

Below is my now immortal grad yearbook text. I am fucking aghast:
No more robots running 'round,
No longer in these walls I'm bound
Now allowed to make a sound,
But 13 yrs confined.

Don't have to raise my hand to speak,
Don't have to ask to take a leak,
Don't have to sit in desks all week,
Allowed to use my mind.

Apart

The duo are temporarily separated to complete friend visiting duties...

VanCity

Alright, back in Van and visiting Lisa and Baby Jack. Is Perplexa's biological clock ticking?...Psyche.

LiLo as Marilyn

Does anyone else think it's a morbid for Lindsay Lohan to pose in the same way Marilyn Monroe posed for The Last Sitting? I mean, Marilyn died after this photo shoot and LiLo's been in and out of rehab for years. The Huffington Post reports that she's also being forced to view bodies at the morgue as part of her DUI punishment. Los Angeles County Coroner's Assistant Chief Ed Winter says, "It's to show [her] what reality is." I think her reality is that she's really screwed up because half of the world wants to have sex with her and the other half wants to see her overdose.

Day of Travel: Oh Canada

LPS

Today is LPS's 30th birthday and I'm going to meet her in Vancouver in a week. We've been friends for 11 years and when I first met her I'm pretty sure she was wearing an all-beige outfit with Teva sandals and wool socks. (Just like Steve Irwin) In the time we've known each other LPS has blossomed into a truly irrepressible spirit. It's as if Dame Jane Goodall had a drunken love child with a smoking hot Bonobo chimp. In recent years, the beer beast has been reserved for wedding receptions and we've grown into sober friends as well. Happy 30th LPS! You aren't nearly as f'ed up as I thought you'd be.

Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day and/or Pillow Fight.

Banshees

Last night we went to see Siouxsie Sioux of the Banshees at the Fillmore. We missed Rasputina, but Siouxsie was still pretty fabulous high kicking all over the stage in her gold jumpsuit. For the first time ever, I stood behind a woman who was shorter than I am and I actually got to see the show. The world really needs more salacious Amazons in gold jumpsuits. I nominate Char.

Nesting

Endor is such a happy place. If only those Ewoks would learn a new song and spring for some brewskies.

I just came across this list of the top ten sustainable tree houses of the world and it is pretty freaking awesome. You can actually join the Tree House Workshop and help build a tree house in the Costa Rican Rain Forest from March 1-14.

Bad Unkl Sista

We went to a fashion show where the finale featured Bad Unkl Sista's designs. The next time you see this woman's name on a poster go to the show. The runway was filled with gyrating purple worms, circus performer / earth mother goddesses and a mannequin hand costume that gave me the creeps. At the center of the performance, the designer, dressed in all black like a Noh theater performer, drags a tortured woman across the stage. The show is meant to convey a sort of post-apocalyptic aftermath with insects inheriting the earth. After two glasses of wine I looked over at Mr. Wonderful and I'm pretty sure I saw confused terror in his eyes. I'd say it's a job well done.

Chinese New Year

Last night we played mahjong and today we will exchange hong bao (envelopes) at a Chinese New Year blowout. My last big lunar party was about 7 yrs and 15 lbs ago when I strapped on my motorcycle helmet and stood in a crowd of tens of thousands of Taiwanese as the military police shot roman candles at us. What a rush!!! Every time a candle singes your clothes, it's as if the wise old Buddha has singled you out. Once at Zeitgeist I saw a dude's jacket go up in flames. Buddha hates hipsters. Kung hei fat choy!

*Quick Silver Screen has a full version of Martial Arts of Shaolin just in case you want to go monk.

Primaries

Today I tried to type while 2 hippies were spitting mad and screaming at each other over whether or not to vote for Obama or Clinton. Man oh man, I love this city, but some days I just need a nice cup of diesel-like coffee and a quiet space to think.

I'm off to exercise my right to vote for the first time in a Presidential election year. I wish Chicken John was on this ballot as well.

Lessig Learned

Yesterday I attended Lawrence Lessig's last lecture in Palo Alto. On the one hand I was sad to see him move from public domain and copyright to the easier and more obvious issue of political corruption. On the other hand I was just happy to be there to witness his last "pie in the sky" speech and drink in the optimism.

A GREAT SPEAKER
Long ago, in my life as a political speech writer I dreamt of producing the speech that rallied the movement. Twice I delivered speeches while chained to welfare offices, but for the most part I wrote handshake speeches for centres of excellence. It was depressing.

When you've obsessed on the cadence of the Beats, and studied Jesse Jackson's sermons, and memorized "I Have a Dream", you don't want to be peppering your speeches with Dale Carnegie quotes and Whitney Houston sound bites. Maybe the children are our future, but if we keep filling their heads with bullshit cliches, the future is going to be pretty bleak.

Lessig is in so many ways, the "I Have a Dream"-er of the free culture movement. Listening to him, in a room full of cyberpunks, film makers, writers, business men and civil rights lawyers, I can't help feeling like I am a part of something great - something democratic. Lessig rallies a movement in words that are accessible, honest and tangible. He's protecting your right to create and distribute without being bullied by monopolies. Moreover, he's ensuring that works of genius add to the public body of knowledge. He's ensuring that the public and the public's kids don't turn into a bunch of dancing meat puppets. more>>