Kitchen Sink Magazine

Between Dev House & our rainy champagne croquet match we managed to meet yet another group of awe-inspiring thinkers & writers---& surprise...we're too late. On March 24, we attended a Kitchen Sink magazine fundraiser to put out the org's swan song publication #16. Due to the death of the Independent Press Association Kitchen Sink is closing its doors forever. Rumour has it that the last cover sports some excellent Camille Rose Garcia artwork. Writerly independence denied. This really is "The Saddest Place on Earth."

Office Space

Asses of fire...I am still at work reformatting speeches & PowerPoints.

There are 3 things that make me feel happy right now:
1. Keepon
2. Song 317 from Songs to Wear Pants to
3. The thought of curb bashing the dual backup servers

Why can't my events have rollerskating monkeys, sassy drag queens & cool galactic soundtracks like all the other SF events? I hope weevils get in the punch.

SUN: Chardonnay Wilson's Champagne Croquet

You are cordially invited to experience the rapture, the awe, the Merrick-like spectacle of Chardonnay Wilson’s Champagne Croquet. +++Sun. Mar. 25 (11am)+++Golden Gate Park-Speedway Meadow. (map)

You bring:
-A canapé/crudité/snack plate- we want 1 at each wicket
-The things you'd like to drink, eat & bbq
-A simple costume relating to croquet (refer to below movies & books featuring croquet)

**LIST OF CROQUET MEDIA: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1865) - Lewis Caroll, A Room with a View (1908) - E.M. Forster, Nosferatu (1922) - F.W. Murnau, Howard's End (1910) - E.M. Forster, The Great Gatsby (1925) -F. Scott Fitzgerald, Love (1927) - Greta Garbo, Anna Karenina (1935) - Greta Garbo, Feather Dusted (1955) - Foghorn Leghorn (That chicken hawk), I'm Just Wild About Jerry (1965) - Tom & Jerry, Savages (1972), Heathers (1989) - Winona Ryder & Christian Slater, The Remains of the Day (1989) - Kazuo Ishiguro, Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) - Tom Selleck, The Avengers (1998) - the one with Uma & Ralph Fiennes, Anna and the King (1999) - Jodi Foster & Chow Yun-Fat & my personal favorite, King Ralph (2001) - John Goodman

Twitter

I saw Perry Ferrell at SxSW. I hate being jealous of people I think are a little retarded. It's like that time I got jealous of one of the girls on My Super Sweet Sixteen because Kanye performed at her party. Kanye!!! Obviously the darling of SXSW is Twitter. Prior to Twitter Vision the whole thing bored me. Now I have to suppress the urge to Twitter just to see my name on the map. The thing is...if you were really doing something super cool you'd probably be too self-absorbed to text message anyone...you'd be too enthralled watching Perry Ferrell swallow his own fist.

R.Kelly

My mind is telling me no, but my body my body's telling me yes…there is an R. Kelly sing-a-long on Wednesday that I’d like to ruin with my poor singing voice; however, I have a writing class that evening.

On R.Kelly: We should have known he was into young women when at the age of 27, he married 15-year-old Aaliyah of the ironically titled Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number and the Anne Rice vampire flick Queen of the Damned.
R. Kelly, I piss on you.

Tahoe: SHitting the Fan

Tahoe and the journey to Tahoe are great! Altamont Pass & its wind turbines make an excellent backdrop for any upcoming zombie/ninja/pirate movie; however, it appears that the turbines themselves are more interested in splattering raptor brains rather than man brains.

Hippies are so damn comfortable. Let's think about preserving ourselves as a species. When the real shit hits the fan and the zombies take over, there is no way I'm sharing my guns, rations and wind turbine generator. Plus, thanks to petchouli, we'll know exactly where those stinky bastards are.

Let's get ignant, let's get hyphy

Let's get hyphy. Proof positive that I know "what it do":
1. I know that E-40 is not a spray lubricant
2. I support the reclamation of hiphop in La Raza
3. I'll be at a break battle where a unilegged man will stall on his stump
4. I love Mistah FAB's "Ghost Ride It" video

Ireland

After getting props from friend/new blogger K-Don & in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I decided to pay tribute to the Irish. I know nothing about you people. There must be a lot of you because the Boston Celtics are named after you. Outside of footballers you have 4 celebrities:
1. Daniel Day Lewis - love him
2. Bono - lovely spectacles/causes, sorry about Zooropa
3. James Joyce - a portrait of depressing as a depressed man
4. Colin Farrell - disaster...scroll over “Colin Goes Punk” in the site sidebar. Colin, for the 2 bars you sing my ears bleed. You have a dot org site & are as bad as the unfamous Bacon brother.

Media

If you like titillating sex scenes coupled with raw chiseled bare-chested man combat, you will like 300. If you like titillating artwork coupled with the sheer bewilderment of being caught off guard by a 5 ft. cotton clitoris wearing a wedding veil, you will like the current exhibition at Mina Dresden gallery.

WonderCon

Emo Star Wars kids, chubby bookworms & spacey hippies with facial hair- it’s as if all of the facets of my personality took on lives of their own and attended the WonderCon comic convention. As a bonus we got to meet Kabuki and Daredevil artist, David Mack. We are considering becoming his otaku but he’s really too normal looking. He does however have something new for the fans.

***This just in. David Mack + ME= BFF. I guess I am alright with my real name being outted, but if I can't get a job I plan on couch surfing at his place.