Is it a coincidence that my 100th blog post also falls on the anniversary of the Hubble telescope? Of course not...both of us are exploring new frontiers and expanding your horizons. I bet your biggest event tonight was the new Heroes episode, or maybe this Michael Jackson YouTube montage. Never fear, I bring you:

• the Tesla Roadster
• role playing game-Monkey, Ninja, Pirate, Robot
• AND something you can practice in front of the mirror--The Pop Lock

To reiterate my first post...Hiyaa doesn't know what it wants to be yet, but damnit when it figures it out, it will be gooood.

Noise

The bank snail mails me to tell me I'm overdrawn, I have a strategic planning day, my co-worker is going on vacation in the South of France, the house is a mess and my student loans have taken 2 payments this month rather than one.....GAAAAAAAA!

Tonight is the dodgeball championship. We're playing the patent lawyers and I've decided their efforts to quarantine ideas is against everything I stand for. Head smash + "OWN THIS JERK!" = sweet sweet justice.

MAUS: Spiegelman & Mouly

Art Spiegelman and his wife Francoise Mouly, creators of the now defunct Raw graffix magazine spoke tonight at the Herbst Theater. Spiegelman is best known for Maus- a graphic novel memoir documenting his father's experiences in Auschwitz. Spiegelman's work received a Pulitzer Prize and was my first experience with a graphic novel. Even the most traditional institutions agree that Maus legitimizes the graphic novel as a complex and full medium. This is the real deal.

Earth Day: The Second Coming of Brown Jesus

Brand strategist/genius Steve Barretto will be at SF's Wed night Pecha Kucha- a showcase of 12 talented designers from across more than 10 mediums. Barretto is best known for his creation of Brown Jesus, a graphic design movement to popularize Christ's true skin tone pantone 1545. Barretto's company, also recently launched the Clever Homes site, an online catalogue of some seriously kick-ass prefabricated homes. Also, might I suggest that if you're looking for green homebuilding alternatives, that you visit Tree Hugger's Green Guides. Happy Earth Day!
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Addendum: WTF Steve? Umm, so I went to see Brown Jesus and you weren't there. Sure there were a couple people I thought were cool like the guy that programmed the synced video/sound compositor, and the guy who designs musical instruments...but I DID NOT appreciate the guy trying to sell us LCD television sets. AND Steve...you didn't even show. The real brown Jesus wouldn't blow off his disciples. The real brown Jesus says you ruined Christmas.

Weird: The Ups and Downs

Whoa whoa...OK, so I understand that everyone is upset about the Virginia Tech massacre and rightly so; nevertheless, is Cho Seung-Hui's video/photo package actually a "multimedia manifesto"?

Sure, the package used a variety of mediums making it "multimedia"; however, isn't a "manifesto" by definition a political statement of organized intentions and motives? Look kid...America doesn't do ambiguity. Just tell us exactly who made you mad and what they did.

Cho Seung-Hui isn't a criminal mastermind with a fancy manifesto and dark militia, nor is he a statement about the pressures of Asian culture---he's just a screwed up kid! (And let's not kid ourselves, there are lots of them out there) The terrifying bottom line is that it was probably harder to perfect the compression on the video clips than it was to get the guns.

* Let's concentrate on happy things like Bjork's new album and Mr. Posh Spice's Bended Baby Beckham. Damn that man is an empty-headed hunk.

assholes

Eric Spitznagel, author of Fast Forward: Confessions of a Porn Screenwriter, and contributing editor for Believer magazine has produced something everyone can get behind..Vonnegut's Asshole. With a namesake referring to Kurt Vonnegut's rudimentary asshole illustration in Breakfast of Champions (*), Spitznagel's blog will feature 3 years of hand-drawn asshole illustrations from his favorite writers. I vow to read the blog every lunch hour until he runs out of assholes. It's so much less forced than US Weekly's "Stars: They're Just Like Us".

Evelyn Lau

Yesterday I went to an open-mic poetry night where acclaimed poet Evelyn Lau read her most recent works. Lau's widely read Runaway: Diary of a Street Kid, is an autobiography chronicling her journey onto the street where she escaped her overbearing parents, took drugs and entered the sex trade. This book may have been the only thing that stopped Perplexa's own alpha-mom in her tracks.

The night went smoothly until another poet read a poem about a porn actress met via MySpace entitled, "Jade and the Dirty Sanchez Army." It reminded me of how comedian Paul Rodriguez stood idly while Michael Richards spewed racial slurs at an audience. Said Rodriguez, "I kept waiting for a punchline that could justify the words before it. It didn't come."

The bespectacled male poet was asked to leave the stage 2 min. into the poem. I'm afraid that Evelyn Lau now thinks that every geek is online to infantilize and degrade "bad" women.

*Revisions to clarify- Poem was read by male attendee NOT Evelyn Lau

SFO>>YVR

I'm tired and there is nothing soft to lie on and the guy with the Vaio next to me keeps farting. I think Vaios might be powered by farts. If the airport's "homemade" soup and "homemade" muffins are actually homemade, then the 3 older Filipinas at the Greek stand that I saw come in at 5:30am have been cooking all night. They like me because I put $2 in their tip jar. I think Cory Doctorow is 3 seats over from me, but it might not be him.

Hip or Dangerous

So I went to Il Pirata's Church for my birthday yesterday and lots of people came but because it was Easter Sunday their regular Jamaican bbq was replaced by a couple of cd's and some take-out tacos. For those of you that came, sorry about that. I think White Canadian reggae artist Snow's less charismatic impersonator may have been there (Warning: you can only tolerate 20 seconds of this).

At least the guys that joined us at the end of the day allowed us to play a little: 'hip or dangerous'

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, "Gold grill guy = dangerous."

THANKS EVERYBODY!!!

Baby Bunnies Slain for Jesus: Yeti lives to tell

There was a time, long ago, when Yeti Ale, the brainchild of Vancouver's Electronic Arts' Need for Speed team was going to be the next big beer. Sadly, the summer ended abruptly in downpour and Yeti never materialised on the market. (Perhaps because there was concern that it would smell like wet dog)
BUT NOW--
I bring you, the nonsensical/sensical website of Morning News writer and programmer, Matthew Baldwin-- Defective Yeti.

Notice the modified CAPTCHA Test - CAPTHIA- a "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Humans and Idiots Apart".

St. Stupid & Celebrity

So in honor of St. Stupid, the patron saint of parking meters and civilization, the Church of the Last Laugh organized a St. Stupid's Day parade on Sunday morning from the Transamerica pyramid to North Beach's Washington Square. I was fortunate enough to have my photo taken with both the infamous perpetual protester Frank Chu, as well as the ever-elusive Flying Spaghetti Monster. As an agnostic pastafarian, I was even given the high honor of being touched by the Monster's noodley appendage.